


Gifts and kindness for a scientist

by CNS



Series: Blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes [3]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bruce is just like Charlie Bucket, Gifts for Hulk, Lovable monster movies, Oblivious Bruce might as well be Grinch, child Bruce is a floret, except not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-05-30
Packaged: 2017-12-13 10:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CNS/pseuds/CNS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy has moved into Avengers Tower, and she heard about the Helicarrier fiasco. She plots and plans and starts getting herself into Bruce's good books.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gifts and kindness for a scientist

There had been a cage on the Helicarrier for the Hulk, she'd heard, even though Dr. Banner had supposedly referred to it as his room. When she asked Steve about it, he said Bruce had sounded bitter about it, but resigned as well. A talk with Tony got her a sketch of the design, which was stuck on a cork board in her room. "Ms. Lewis, I could upload the sketch into the server and put it on a screen for you."  
"Thanks Jarvis, I might take you up on that later. At the moment, I just need to be able to feel the paper."  
"Of course, Ms. Lewis." Darcy stuck a couple pictures of Bruce Banner and the Hulk on the cork board, then tapped her chin before sticking some thumb tacks on around the board and looping string around them, connecting them in a pattern. Frowning, she chewed on her lip, then let it go. "Jarvis, every time I bite my lip, could you tell me not to? It's a Kristen Stewart habit, and I really really hate that girl, so I'd rather not to do it."  
"As you wish, Ms. Lewis."  
"Thanks Jarvis, you're the best." The AI's voice was coloured with mild pride when he spoke next.  
"Thank you, Ms. Lewis." Darcy spent the next half hour creating a mess of string on her cork board, then asked Jarvis to upload it so she could borrow one of the labs to mess around with it the way Tony did. "Of course. Lab thirty five on floor fifty-seven should be available for your use."  
"Jarvis, have you ever had treats?"  
"Treats, Ms. Lewis?"  
"Yeah. Like, I don't know, cyber cookies or something?"  
"I... do not have any way to ingest treats."  
"Does Tony ever give you puzzles?"  
"He did, in the early days of my functioning."  
"Do you miss them?" The silence spoke for the AI, and Darcy nodded. "'Kay."

\---

"Like a perfect stranger, you came into my li-ife, then like the perfect lone ranger, you rode awa-hay, rode awa-hay, rode awa-hay, rode awa-hay..." Hands on hips, Darcy considered the schematic she'd made with string, then the digital version. "You're really very awesome and I love you, Jarvis," Darcy said earnestly, twiddling with the hologram lines now to change the room design.  
"I am fond of you too, Ms. Lewis."  
"Hey hey hey, you're not allowed to date Jarvis," said Tony as he walked into the room. "He's a delicate plant who's still gotta be sheltered from the cruel world and wily vixens like yourself."  
"Oh come Tony, we know I'm more of a cougar."  
"No, I'd actually nail you as more of a puma," said Tony, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully at her. Or maybe he was experiencing some cramps. That would be unfortunate.  
"Well guys around my age don't seem to get any of it right," Darcy mused, then shrugged. "If the older crowd are a similar no-go, then there's no man for me. Probably no woman either, especially seeing as I don't swing that way."  
"A pity. It would probably look hot if we caught you at it."  
"Tony, Tony, Tony," Darcy said, shaking her head and smiling. "You seem to be of the opinion I'd go for a looker like myself. What if I chose someone plain?"  
"Still be hot."  
"Well I think it'd be hot if you and Uncle Sam's nephew got it on, but do you see me proposing you do so? No." Tony looked mildly ill at the idea, and Darcy considered it a success. "Though to be fair, I probably haven't proposed it because Steve would die of embarrassment. Now run along, Tony, this puma's got work to do." Tony's eyes narrowed again.  
"Wait, who are you going for? Me? Sorry, too taken. Rogers? Too polite and in love with Aunt Peggy as she used to be. Banner? Too shy and self sacrificing. Barton? Too super spy and marksman. Wait, oh god forbid it's Fury, because he's just too _Fury_."  
"Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong," Darcy sing songed. "One was right but you'll have to guess my dear landlord. Now out, please, I have a mission of mercy to complete."  
"Geez, you're almost as scary as Pepper."  
"Pepper is quite possibly the most kick-ass woman I've ever met, aside from my Grandmother and Natasha. Bet they'd approve of you and Steve sucking face."  
"Ookaaay I'll just be leaving now." Tony bolted, and Darcy grinned widely.  
"Thank you Jarvis for doing all those searches and telling me which pairing Tony would be most disturbed by."  
"It was my pleasure, Ms. Lewis. Though I am somewhat disappointed you did not ask why he has yet to steal and make love to Mr. Barton's quiver."  
"Patience, my good friend. We pace out our ammo or the ongoing fight will be lost. Besides, we'll get some good mileage with Steve and Tony's supposed 'sexually tense relationship' and the 'heated looks'."  
"This of course has nothing to do with not wanting Mr. Barton to possibly injure sir if he looks at his quiver."  
"Of course not," Darcy agreed. "Hey Jarvis, can I get this display in anything other than blue?"  
"Certainly, Ms. Lewis. What is your preferred colour?"  
"Green."

\---

She was extraordinarily good at this, if she did say so herself. Standing in the centre of the green hologram room, she held her elbow and chin. "Hmmm.... What do you think, Jarvis?"  
"I think it's a wonderful design, Ms. Lewis."  
"Thank you, call me Darcy." She grinned at the security camera, then tossed the bed (oh if only she could toss an actual bed that big) into the garbage can before adding a veritable hill of pillows. A miniature mountain. A something that had lots and lots of cushions. Whatever, in other words. "Now for some stuff he might like... We'd rather not have him smash, and we don't want explosive footage soooo..."  
"Ms. Darcy, if I might make a suggestion?"  
"Sure thing, Jay."  
"Jarvis, Ms. Darcy. Doctor Banner enjoys nature greatly, as well as atmospheric music."  
"Atmospheric? You mean like wind chimes and waterfalls la la la meditation-type stuff?"  
"Precisely. They are calming for him, and I think that perhaps footage of small creatures like hummingbirds or beavers might fascinate the Hulk, seeing as he has never appeared in any setting where he might observe these creatures."  
"Never?" asked Darcy, aghast. "Oh that's terrible! We'll have to have a vacation at some point to fix that. I bet he's like the Grinch and North rolled all into one! You know, grouchy and all 'ra ra ain't nobody gonna have time for fun times', but also with wide eyes to see wonders. 'Cept, his are green. Wait, Jay, _are_ they green?"  
"Jarvis, Ms. Darcy. Yes, the Hulk's eyes are green."  
"What shade?"  
"The green equivalent of Doctor Banner's."  
"Mmmm, then he's got olive amber eyes, hmmm...? Excellent. This'll work beautifully."  
"Might I enquire as to what you're speaking of?"  
"Well, see, I kinda want to impress all the Avengers when I meet them formally. I've only really met Tony so far, and maybe Captain America seeing as he's, y'know, Steve. But my favourites are Bruce and Hulk, right? So I want to dress to impress. In other words, I want to wear something that reminds me of both of them. Olive amber earrings like Hulk's eyes, maybe chocolatey brown something for Bruce... What do you recommend, Jarvis, based on my wardrobe?"  
"Give me one moment to collect data, Ms. Darcy."  
"Sure thing."

\---

When she finally met the Avengers in person, they were actually taller than she thought they'd be. "You know, for some weird reason, I kind of expected you all to be like Mike Teavee after he was an idiot in the television room," she said before anyone else could say a thing. Tilting her head, she toyed with the fishtail braid she'd put her hair in. "Actually, if I imagined all of you evil or shattered glass or whatever, I could totally place you as some of the kids Wonka led on a tour."  
"Who'd be Charlie Bucket?" asked Tony, grinning.  
"Bruce," said Darcy, grinning and waving at the slightly confused, but also amused, scientist. "You, Tony, would be Mike Teavee. Hawkeye gets to be Violet Beauregarde, Natasha's Veruca Salt, and... Hmmm.... Let's make Steve Augustus Gloop, just because it would be hilarious. Wait, Tony can't be Mike, he's gotta be Willy Wonka! Quick, let's make Thor Augustus Gloop, Steve Grandpa Joe, and Jane gets to be Mike." Looking satisfied with herself, Darcy sat in a chair and swiped a roll from Bruce's plate. "Sharing is caring," she told him sagely. "Wait, we forgot Jay!"  
"Jay?"  
"Jarvis gets to be the narrator," said Darcy decidedly, grinning. "Everyone loves the narrator. That, or he gets to be Wonka's dad the dentist!"  
"I'm sorry, I... Willy Wonka's dad was a dentist? That wasn't in the book."  
"Hmmm? No, that's from the Johnny Depp movie, but it's awesome so we've all gotta see it."  
"You're an interesting girl, Darcy Lewis," said Hawkeye, looking amused.  
"Thank you."  
"I don't chew gum."  
"Didn't think so, but you've got the athletics down, and I didn't think you could pull off a Veruca Salt bit as well as Natasha. No offence."  
"None taken. Natasha's a better actor than me anyways."  
"Then all is wonderful. Sooo... Any of you doing anything tonight? If you aren't, we can watch Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."  
"Well I have an experiment running..." Bruce started.  
"Which doesn't require supervision so yes he's available," Tony interrupted, grinning. Bruce just sighed and cleaned his glasses.  
"Brilliant! Now when will Thor be back from his latest trip so that he can join us?"  
"Should be sometime this evening," Clint said, stretching. "He said his business wouldn't take too long, and Asgardian time is allegedly different from Earth time."  
"Midgard is so full of wonders," mused Darcy. When everyone gave her an odd look, she started up again. "What? You spend a solid few hours listening to him and tell me if you don't pick up some of the words he uses!"  
"Mmhmm... I remember the Facebook picture."  
"Hey, the book of faces brought me loads of comments about that pic that deviantArt wouldn't have, so don't diss it!"  
"Deviant art...?" Steve sounded both confused and a little disturbed by that.  
"Oh don't worry, it's got its less than safe pictures but it's largely just an art website. It's pretty cool!"  
"Last I checked, you aren't an artist, Lewis," Tony said, eyebrow raised.  
"Just because I don't draw or sing doesn't mean I'm not an artist, Stark," Darcy shot back, sniffing. "I scoff in your general direction. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to commandeer Bruce for a bit."  
"Why?" asked Clint, frowning.  
"Because I got an ouchie," said Darcy flatly. "Like it's any of your business. Come on Doctor Broccoli, time's a'wastin'!" Grabbing Bruce's wrist, she dragged him after her out of the kitchen.  
"What was it you needed my help for, Ms. Lewis...?"  
"You," she said, pointing at him, "Are going to help me create the perfect recipe for white chocolate chip cookies."  
"I am?"  
"Yes. Natasha and Clint are super spies, so I'm not going to ask them because god only knows what they might do to the dough. If Tony touches it, it will gain life and try to kill me. If Steve touches it, it will be devoured. You'll actually help me."  
"And how do you know that?"  
"Jarvis," said Darcy smugly, making Bruce smile slightly in return.

\---

The day had gone well, in retrospect. She'd officially met the Avengers, she'd made cookies with Bruce, she'd pigged out on popcorn with the Avengers while watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and she'd spewed coke on Thor. Yes, it had been an extremely good day. Curled up under the covers in her room, Darcy scrolled through what information she could find on Bruce, then paused as she saw a picture of a pale child with glasses and a haunted look. "Jarvis?"  
"Yes Ms. Darcy?"  
"Is that... Is that Bruce?"  
"The child is indeed Doctor Banner."  
"Oh Bruce..." Darcy whispered. "Jarvis."  
"Yes?"  
"We are going to help that man. Even if it weren't just because we'd like him, it would be to prove to that little floret that he isn't alone."  
"Yes Ms. Darcy."

\---

Darcy's mission was called Operation: Jammin', because they were jammin' ideas into Bruce's head until he accepted them, yo. Or something like that. She'd been half asleep when she named the project. Jarvis hadn't objected to it for some inexplicable reason, so Darcy didn't change it once she woke up. She came out of bed fighting. The floor was unmoved by her mashing skills, and she groaned as she rubbed the back of her head. "Devil, thy name is hardwood. Who the frick moved the carpet?"  
"I believe the cleaning drone did, Ms. Darcy. I will fix that program error immediately."  
"Thank you Jarvis," she said, pulling herself up. "You're the only one who understands me."  
"Indeed, Ms. Darcy." How she made it up to the kitchen in Tony's penthouse was a mystery, but she sock skated across the glass covered holes from where the Hulk had smashed Loki.  
"Goooo' mornin'," she mumbled as she flopped onto a stool at the island table.  
"Good morning," Bruce said, looking up from his crossword puzzles.  
"Megatron watches gay porn in his spare time," Darcy muttered darkly, ignoring how Tony choked on his coffee. Dummy nudges her elbow and set a mug of coffee on the table for her, and she hugged him. "Thank you Dummy! I correct my earlier statement; Jarvis and you are the only ones who understand me." Dummy whirred, pleased, and Darcy grinned before stretching then snatching up her coffee. "Mmmm... You make a perfect cup of coffee, Dummy."  
"Wait, it wasn't unbearably disgusting?"  
"Why, was it supposed to be?" Tony ignored her question in favour of glaring at Dummy.  
"Donating you. Seriously. You haven't even known her two months and she's already the subject of favouritism! I made you!" Dummy whirred unrepentantly as Tony kept ranting at him, and Bruce smiled.  
"Does this happen often?" Darcy asked.  
"Pigment," Bruce blurted, then blushed. "Umm... I mean, yes," he mumbled, completing the crossword puzzle.  
"How often?"  
"It depends on the day," Bruce said, shrugging. "Though on Thursdays it usually happens about fifteen times on average."  
"You scientists and your statistics," Darcy said, looking amused. "So adorable." Bruce's blush migrated from his ears to his cheeks and neck.  
"Umm..."  
"Doc, I have something serious I need your help with," she said, spinning on her stool and resting her elbows on the table.  
"Figuring out what kind of white chocolate is best?"  
"Ha ha silly Bruce, everybody knows it's Belgian white chocolate!"  
"Of course."  
"What I need you to help me with is finding A Monster in Paris so I can watch it."  
"A Monster in Paris," Bruce repeated blankly.  
"Yes."  
"You want to watch a movie about a musically talented flea."  
"You don't understand, Bruce!" Darcy exclaimed, spinning to face him and stretching pathetically across the table while making grabbing motions. "Francoeur, Bruce, Francoeur! He's _adorable_! He chirps! _Chirps_ , Bruce!"  
"Mmmhmm."  
"Bruce, watch a clip with him and tell me he is not cute."  
"Darcy, you do know that fleas survive off blood, correct?"  
"Not Francoeur," Darcy said stubbornly. "He thrives on the same food as us!"  
"Right."  
"Jarvis, shun this non-believer!" Darcy cried in mock outrage.  
"Of course, Ms. Darcy; in the process of shunning." A holographic sign appeared over Bruce's head, reading ' _I refuse to suspend my belief so that I may enjoy singing fleas_ '.  
"Perfect! Now come, Crown, we got research to do!"  
"Don't research too hard," Tony called, smirking.  
"Shut it, Tiny," Darcy shot back. "All your base are belong to us and all your television are play Un Monstre à Paris!"

\---

It became a theme, which Bruce was not picking up on for some mind boggling reason. They had watched A Monster in Paris, the Iron Giant, Beauty and the Beast (okay that one was because she hadn't seen it in ages), and all the Shrek movies, among other things. She was thinking she should just start calling him Grinch at this rate in the hopes he'd have an epiphany, just minus the whos in Whoville. On the bright side, Jarvis had introduced Darcy to Pepper so that they could get permission to renovate the basement level. Pepper had, of course, given it, and even told Jarvis to manufacture a material Tony had developed that the Hulk wouldn't be able to break. Jarvis and Darcy then employed Dummy's skills to keep Tony distracted enough to not find out. Darcy even helped the crew do the renovations. Jarvis covered for her whenever she was asked why she had cement dust in her hair, or why her hands were a bit gray. Jarvis also helped her secretly craft tiny figurines of both Bruce and Hulk from the material, which she painstakingly painted to look just like them in her free time. She could have asked Steve to do it, but this was private.

It took a month, in which there was depressingly little progress for Operation: Jammin', but the room was complete, and had green cushions made of another StarkIndustries material that could supposedly withstand Hulk bashing. Now all Darcy needed was to get Hulk's attention after a fight so she could show it to him. The chance came sooner than she and Jarvis expected. They'd been watching My Neighbor Totoro when there was a distant explosion. It was rapidly followed by a much closer one. The alarm sounded and Steve yelled for them all to assemble, with Bruce hurriedly taking his glasses off and dropping them on Darcy's lap before running after everyone else. "Jarvis?"  
"Yes, Ms. Darcy?"  
"I believe out opportunity has arrived."  
"Indeed, Ms. Darcy." Getting up, Darcy snagged her Starkphone and went to the elevator. "The Avengers have left in the Quintjet," Jarvis informed her, speaking through the phone.  
"Okay Java baby, direct me as soon as I reach the ground floor."  
"Very good, Ms. Darcy."

The fight was apparently short. Short enough she would have had no idea it had been an out of control mutant attack if Jarvis had not told her. The X-Men had shown up out of god knows where to bring the kid to Professor Xavier's school, but apparently Hulk was not happy with this. Before he could do anything more than take a step forward, seemingly not noticing how his teammates tensed, Darcy jogged forward, whistling sharply. Hulk whipped around and snarled at her. "Hey, Hulk!" She grinned widely and skipped out of the way when Steve tried to intercept her. "Bruce left his glasses behind. I'm kinda glad he did though, because I've just been waiting to meet you!" She came to a stop in front of him, and her hair moved as he huffed, bending down to look at her. "You're really, really amazing. Hey, have you got a minute?" He blinked at her. "I have something I want to show you at Stark Tower." He hummed, his voice rumbling, then picked her up with one hand and leapt. Darcy whooped as they flew through the air. "Oh _man_! That was better than any roller coaster or similar ride! Oh god, Hulk, I think you've ruined amusement parks for me!" she exclaimed, laughing. Hulk smirked slightly.  
"Hulk better," he agreed.  
"Way better," she assured him, then pointed at the ground. "Can you set me down, please? Hey Jarvis, can you open the Hulk sized doors?"  
"Of course, Ms. Darcy. Welcome home, Hulk."  
"Home?" questioned Hulk.  
"Yep!" Darcy chirped, grabbing his hand with both of hers, Bruce's glasses tucked in her pocket. "Come on, Jarvis and I arranged a surprise for you?"  
"Hulk not like surprises.." he said, growling a little.  
"Don't worry, this one's nice. No loud noises or people shooting at you or anything." Leading him down below Tony's underground parking lot, Darcy pointed to a control panel. "See that? Jarvis made it so you can open and close the door, but no one else can." There were DNA scanners and voice recognition programs that made the panel more than just an 'open/shut' switch, but that wasn't necessary to explain. "Go on, press it. Just be gentle, okay?" Hulk looked at her, then prodded at the panel and blinked when the door swooshed open. "Happy late birthday, Hulk," Darcy said, smiling up at him.  
"Birthday?"  
"The day you're born. Everyone has one." She patted his arm. "This room is all yours."  
"Hulk's room?" He moved inside, looking around. "Green wall...?"  
"Do you like it? We didn't know your favourite colour so we made everything your colour."  
"Hulk likes." That was all the warning she had before she was hugged. "Hulk thanks you," he rumbled, petting her hair carefully with a finger. Darcy grinned and hugged back.  
"Darcy says you're welcome."

\---

After Darcy had told Hulk all about the features the room had, he'd shrunk down into Bruce, and Darcy had given him his glasses back before cheerfully pecking him on the nose and skipping out. When she reached Tony's penthouse, he was standing in the kitchen and smirking with his arms crossed. "You, Darcy Lewis, are very clever."  
"I try," she said, preening and placing a hand to her clavicle in mock modesty.  
"Getting Pepper's approval for renovation in my tower? Making a room for the Hulk without me knowing? That's a kind of crafty genius very like my own."  
"Mmmhmmm, keep flattering us."  
"Ms. Darcy, Doctor Banner is on his way up and requests he speak with you alone."  
"Go knock 'im dead!" Tony said gleefully, to which Darcy shot a rubber band at his forehead. Bruce was waiting in the lab and fidgeting when she got there.  
"Hey Doc."  
"Ms. Lewis," he greeted, straightening.  
"They should really make togas a fashion again."  
"Ms. Lewis this isn't-"  
"Darcy."  
"This isn't a game! The other guy isn't me; he isn't going to be nice to you or like you just because I do! If he ever got it into his head to kill you he could! And if he was out of control, a berserker, he could kill you unintentionally! He's dangerous, Darcy, _we're_ dangerous! Yet you treat all of this like some grand adventure where everyone's going to be just dandy at the end and the villain will get their comeuppance! There isn't a villain in this, Darcy, but there is a very real danger that could get people killed and you're treating it like- like-!"  
"Like you're a normal person," Darcy finished. "Bruce, I understand that you're both dangerous; you because you've got Hulk inside and Hulk because he's incredibly strong. I'm not stupid, Bruce, I know he could kill me. I had Jarvis help me study your interactions with the team though, and Jarvis told me there was an incredibly high chance that Hulk would listen to me."  
"Or kill-"  
"Or ignore me," Darcy said firmly. "And guess what? He did listen to me. He carried me back to the tower, and I showed him the room Jarvis helped me design and arrange. He thanked me, and he hugged me, and he pet my hair. And he told me he wouldn't smash me ever. Bruce, I know you're scared, and I can understand why even if I myself don't share that fear, but you have to realize that things can go wrong whether or not you have a giant green guardian angel with nippers to match Nurse Matilda's tooth. Things will only work if all involved parties work together to ensure that." Bruce sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  
"Look, Darcy, I know you want to-"  
"Oh my _god_ ," Darcy said, frowning, then she leaned forward and kissed Bruce soundly on the mouth. In the background, Tony started whooping and whistling and loudly telling Clint to pay up.

**Author's Note:**

> This kinda just went on and on and on. The birthday comment was included because my own birthday is next week. :P


End file.
